What happened?
September 8, 2009 by Kasey
Filed under Living Life, My Thoughts
I love holidays. As a child, there was never a holiday that went by that we didn’t get together with my grandparents, aunts and uncles and cousins. We usually grilled out or enjoyed a large meal and sat and and laughed the day away. It was so much fun and I’m so glad that I have those memories from my childhood.
Now, I live far away from my family and don’t get to see them as much as I’d like. It’s just hard to travel 6-8 hours away with two small children in tow. I want my children to get to know my family well and hate that we’re not closer. It’s hard. One day, it will be easier and we’ll make that long drive more often.
My husband’s family lives about an hour from here and we don’t see them as much as I’d like either. Even though we’re not that far away, we really only seem them on special occasions and holidays. It seems that everyone is busy these days with their own children and responsibilities.
What happened to us? How did we all get so busy? Is it where we live and the environment? Have our priorities changed so much more drastically than they were 20 years ago? Or are our lives just so full we can’t possibly fit in one more thing? Now our work days start before 8am and are over after 6pm. It’s too much! No wonder marriages and families are falling apart and that people are having heart attacks and strokes at such a young age.
I believe we need to slow down and get back to our roots. Back to what is really important in our lives. Maybe it’s spending Sunday with just your family at home and missing that round of golf, or maybe it’s cutting out 1 extra activity a week or volunteer opportunity or maybe it’s even cutting back on work so that you have a few evenings a week dedicated to just your family.
We’re all busy and we all have a lot more to do than we can possibly fit into the day – but you know what, it’s not important in the grand scheme of life. Will your children remember one day when they’re adults that you were the chair of the Economic Development Committee or that you made the entire dance class costumes? No, but they will remember you sitting around the table cutting out paper dolls or playing ball in the back yard or that visit to their aunt and uncle’s house sitting around a campfire with their cousins roasting marshmallows. Making memories and sharing with the ones we love, that’s what life is all about. It’s not about all those other things that stress us out and make us exhausted by the time we go to bed after midnight.
Do you agree? Do you feel exhausted by the end of the day and not really know what you really accomplished for yourself or your family? Do you make time to be with your extended family?
Tell me why you think our society has turned into what it has become today. Is life all about the hustle and bustle where you live or is it relaxed and laid back? I’d love to know..share with me!
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My best friend lives 6 hours away from me and all of her family. She says sometimes she feels slighted because people don’t put effort into traveling to see her or getting to know her family in their own comfort zone.
I think life is about finding a balance between things you “need” to do and things you “want” to do and things you “should” be doing. So easy to get caught up in the rat race…
I think you hit it right on the head! If you want to do something, you find the time to do it. I guess that’s where priorities really need to come into play.
You are so right on the money Kasey! It’s funny I was thinking about the same thing this weekend, so I had to comment. I don’t know that there is an answer, but it is important to remember exactly what you said…the kids will remember cutting paper dolls at the table with you…not that you made costumes for the entire dance class. It’s great to do those extra things, if you truly have time, but so many of us do not.
I don’t have kids of my own, but I feel guilty for not spending enough quality time with my neice and nephews. I guess we should just try to make the most of the time we have. Sadly, there are endless expectations on each of us that we cannot avoid. I get to watch the kids tonight and I’m starting to think about what fun things we’ll do
Thanks for the reminder & inspiration to live in the moment!
Thanks for commenting, Jean! I am with you, we all feel guilty for not doing a lot of the things we need to be doing, whether it’s spending time with loved ones or working more or spending time alone. It’s hard to balance it all out – but as Mama Cat mentions above – we seem to find the time to do the things we want. It’s just part of it all!
I agree! Its just hard to find the balance! For me hubby works so much, and out of town that its hard to do it all alone.
It is hard when you try to take the kids alone and pack them up, get to the event and then bring them home tired and cranky.
The sad thing is that it is such a two way street. My family makes the time and effort to plan family dinners, weekends, vacations etc. My husbands family lives the same distance away as mine, and it is like pulling teeth to try to get together. They always have other things more important. It is nice when everyone has the same set os priorities in making those memories
Christine,
I wonder why that is? I wonder why it always seems the the wife’s family is more open to gatherings than the husbands. I hear this all the time form lots of women. Maybe they just don’t like us! LOL
I completely agree with you. This is one of my biggest pet peeves with my in-laws. They are so busy with their church and getting to the “afterlife” that they’ve forgotten to live the life they have and enjoy the family they have here and now.
Really? Its just not right. I know families that will spend their time with anyone but their own family. Their best friend’s brothers child is graduating..they’re there! If Bob from accounting is having a BBQ – count them in. But, if it involves their own family…we’ll they’ll have to check their calendar to see if nothing better is going on. It’s just rude!
It would be really great if we could all get back to our roots. Times like when we used to all get together for a big Sunday dinner and all the little one could have time to play together.
Maybe if we would all give up our computers, cell phones, and DVR’s we could do that. What do you think?
I miss those Sundays. Sunday was always family time. You might as well forget about missing a dinner then!
I’m not sure if the electronic age has taken over or what the deal is!
Hi! I found your blog through Cat’s blog 3kidsandus.
I couldn’t have said this better myself. I too remember the holidays with every aunt, uncle, cousin, grandparents, and anyone else that decided to stop by for a visit. Each Christmas, Easter, Thanksgiving, you name it I always think back to those days. Things seemed so much more simple, less rushed, more enjoyable. We have started hosting Christmas at my home now, in hopes of pulling everyone back together rather then running to 4 different houses.
I totally agree with Tammy, if we could all give up our computers & cell phones, etc. we might find our way back to having a face to face conversation. Life’s to short. We all need to slow down, enjoy the day… we aren’t promised tomorrow.
Thank you for posting this, it’s a wonderful reminder!!! God bless!
Jennifer´s last blog ..Should have gone back to bed!