FEATURE FRIDAY – WANT A POLISHED PRE-SCHOOLER? It starts with you!

Lately I have been wondering what’s happened to the days when people always held doors for others and saying thank you in any form was routine, not something for special occasions.

Teaching our two-year-old son Eric manners has been important to me and my husband Ric since Eric learned to talk and say “I want thaaaaat!” It doesn’t take long for a toddler to soak up social graces like saying “please“ and “excuse me,“ and Eric is pretty good at remembering them unless there’s a major crisis, like someone grabbing away one of his 100 dinosaurs while he’s playing with it.

Recently Eric and I were walking into one of our favorite places, our local library. Eric was making his way toward the return slot, when two adults walking toward us nearly trampled him because they were talking and not watching where they were going. Eric said, “excuse me” (loudly) as they were walking toward him, and they didn’t even look at him. Once they realized he was underfoot, they just looked away and kept walking. I was amazed by the fact that a two-year old child could have better manners than two adults. I know he’s only two, but that doesn’t mean he shouldn’t be treated with respect.

My kids, both grown and not yet grown, will tell you I am a stickler for sending “thank you” notes, something I inherited from my mother. And I think when one is invited to a party or gathering, she should R.S.V.P. Of course, I know a toddler is not capable of these acts of etiquette, but isn’t it our job as mothers and fathers to lay the groundwork by teaching them the simplest manners now, and building on them?

Any mom will tell you pre-schoolers are like parrots. They mimic most everything we do, good and, unfortunately, bad. So make sure please, thank you, and excuse me are a big part of your own vocabulary.

I find the age appropriate emails I receive from www.babycenter.com to be helpful at times, and I am sharing some of the site’s tips for bringing up polite children. Yes, our kids will need a little reminding, but won’t it make you proud when you hear them say “thank you” on their own or, as they get older, open a door for another person?

From WWW.BABYCENTER.COM‘s Preschool Bulletin:

Your child is definitely old enough to learn — and practice — some of the social graces. Some tips on how to help:

· Start with “please” and “thank you.” If she hasn’t picked up these words naturally, make sure she hears you using them: “Will you please come here?” Don’t be afraid to prompt: “Can you say thank you?” Repetition will make these words a habit.

· Be kind yourself. Modeling consideration of others will show her the ropes. Let her hear you say, “How are you?” and “Excuse me.”

· Connect actions to consequences. Help your child see that a gift of flowers can cheer someone up, or that hitting or making mean comments makes the other person sad.

· Cut your child some slack when she’s ill. Or tired.

- Sheila

Sheila Gray Robinson has it all as a TV morning news anchor and mother of four.  Sheila is a native of Sidney, Ohio and graduated Magna Cum Laude from Ohio University in three years.  She enjoys serving on the board of the Make A Wish Foundation.  Sheila can be seen on TV in Cincinnati or trying to be Supermom in Northern Kentucky.  She and her husband Ric have four children, Kasey, Kari, Katie and Eric.

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