Hope Emerging

It feels like Spring outside.  It was 49 degrees today in my little town.  The sun was shining and the birds were actually singing when I woke up.  It sure starts your day off right when that happens!

The kids so have cabin fever and I know that I do too!  I want to get out to go to the parks, go on bike rides and just sit in the backyard and watch the kids play for the afternoon.  This going out for a half hour “just to get fresh air” is getting old.

I did see some hope today…daffodils and tulips poking out of the ground!  Oh that is such a wonderful sight to see.  I was out walking while the kids had a nap and before Brian left for work and I saw these little guys poking out of the ground around every corner.  Yes, there is still mounds of snow on the ground,  but they don’t seem to care!    The sun was so warm and the breeze was cool.  It was energizing! The only problem was that I kept thinking about getting home and having a piece of Texas Sheet Cake.  I’m not sure that’s such a good thing after a nice long walk.  Oh well!  It was good and totally worth it!

The weekend weather looks great!  I can’t wait!  Spring is coming!!

What signs of Spring do you see around your house?

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FEATURE FRIDAY – WANT A POLISHED PRE-SCHOOLER? It starts with you!

Lately I have been wondering what’s happened to the days when people always held doors for others and saying thank you in any form was routine, not something for special occasions.

Teaching our two-year-old son Eric manners has been important to me and my husband Ric since Eric learned to talk and say “I want thaaaaat!” It doesn’t take long for a toddler to soak up social graces like saying “please“ and “excuse me,“ and Eric is pretty good at remembering them unless there’s a major crisis, like someone grabbing away one of his 100 dinosaurs while he’s playing with it.

Recently Eric and I were walking into one of our favorite places, our local library. Eric was making his way toward the return slot, when two adults walking toward us nearly trampled him because they were talking and not watching where they were going. Eric said, “excuse me” (loudly) as they were walking toward him, and they didn’t even look at him. Once they realized he was underfoot, they just looked away and kept walking. I was amazed by the fact that a two-year old child could have better manners than two adults. I know he’s only two, but that doesn’t mean he shouldn’t be treated with respect.

My kids, both grown and not yet grown, will tell you I am a stickler for sending “thank you” notes, something I inherited from my mother. And I think when one is invited to a party or gathering, she should R.S.V.P. Of course, I know a toddler is not capable of these acts of etiquette, but isn’t it our job as mothers and fathers to lay the groundwork by teaching them the simplest manners now, and building on them?

Any mom will tell you pre-schoolers are like parrots. They mimic most everything we do, good and, unfortunately, bad. So make sure please, thank you, and excuse me are a big part of your own vocabulary.

I find the age appropriate emails I receive from www.babycenter.com to be helpful at times, and I am sharing some of the site’s tips for bringing up polite children. Yes, our kids will need a little reminding, but won’t it make you proud when you hear them say “thank you” on their own or, as they get older, open a door for another person?

From WWW.BABYCENTER.COM‘s Preschool Bulletin:

Your child is definitely old enough to learn — and practice — some of the social graces. Some tips on how to help:

· Start with “please” and “thank you.” If she hasn’t picked up these words naturally, make sure she hears you using them: “Will you please come here?” Don’t be afraid to prompt: “Can you say thank you?” Repetition will make these words a habit.

· Be kind yourself. Modeling consideration of others will show her the ropes. Let her hear you say, “How are you?” and “Excuse me.”

· Connect actions to consequences. Help your child see that a gift of flowers can cheer someone up, or that hitting or making mean comments makes the other person sad.

· Cut your child some slack when she’s ill. Or tired.

- Sheila

Sheila Gray Robinson has it all as a TV morning news anchor and mother of four.  Sheila is a native of Sidney, Ohio and graduated Magna Cum Laude from Ohio University in three years.  She enjoys serving on the board of the Make A Wish Foundation.  Sheila can be seen on TV in Cincinnati or trying to be Supermom in Northern Kentucky.  She and her husband Ric have four children, Kasey, Kari, Katie and Eric.

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A Princess Tea Party Is Coming

It was good while it lasted.  The sun that is.  It’s back to a gray sky and SNOW today.  Oh well.   I’m sure it will be back soon.

I’ve had enough to keep me busy to not worry about the dreary weather outside.  Watching 5 kids and getting ready for Ella’s 4th Birthday party this weekend, has been enough on my plate.

Ella is so excited!  I must say that this is the first year she’s really looked forward to it for a long time!  I bet it was June when she first started “planning” her little party in her mind.  She told me who she wanted to invite, what kind of decorations she wanted and what kind of cake.  She really hasn’t wavered much on the details since then.  This morning she asked me if I had started planning her party yet.  “Ummm…yes, honey.  It’s only 3 days away.”  I may not be the most organized mom around, but I have started planning her party.  I may or may not have purchased all the items needed for the party, but I promise it will get done!

I was able to pick up the cutest little serving dishes at TJ Maxx with cupcakes on them.  They’ll be perfect for the little heart shaped peanut butter and jelly sandwiches (that Ella picked out!) to be served on!  I’m also making little pinwheels made with white bread and Nutella.  (our new fav!!)

I was going to buy some tea cups and saucers while at TJ Maxx…but I remembered that I had a whole box of my Grandmother’s China in a pretty blue floral pattern called “English Garden” that will be perfect on the table with pastel Princess Decorations.  Yes, it is real China….but what is it good for if you can’t use it at a 4 year old’s Princess Tea Party??  The little cups are small and will be just right  for little hands to hold as they drink their “tea” out of.

I still have a lot to do to get ready..but it’s not as much as in year’s past.  We were going to have Ella’s little school friends over on Saturday for the Tea Party and then on Sunday, the family over.  Being as my family all lives 6-8 hours from here, so obviously they won’t be making it this year…and Brian’s family has other plans and other issues and won’t be attending….SOOOOO…I canceled the Sunday party.  I’m just going to have the Saturday party be her big day and then on Sunday (her actual birthday) we’re going to do something special with her.

I haven’t the heart to tell her that nobody is coming to her family party on Sunday.  I just can’t.  She’s so excited and would be DEVASTATED to know that her family isn’t coming for reasons that have nothing to do with her.  I’m just going to try and blow it off and tell her all the fun things we’ll do that day.  She won’t understand.  It’s not fair for her and it upsets me.

It’s OK.  It’s always been the 2 of us…then the 3 of us… and now the 4 of us.  We are family and we here for each other no matter what (or who) is in our lives (or NOT).

I’m looking forward to the weekend and my baby girl’s big day!  She is so excited and I will do everything I can to make it just as special as she is!    I can’t wait to show you all the fun that I AM SURE will be had by all!

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Plain Jane Mom

I wrote the following post a couple months ago and never published it. I should have, it is good stuff! I don’t feel these words as strongly today. I definitely feel more confident in my current wardrobe and life than I did when I wrote this, but I feel like this can help others – like maybe there are other people that feel this same way. So without further ado, I give you my introspective post of the week.

Sometimes I feel plain. Yesterday I was walking through the big city mall – me in my t-shirt and jeans, baby on my back as I pushed a happy yet slightly dirty two year old in a stroller – and I was catching glances from happy store clerks and young beautiful shoppers. I saw their highlights, manicures and brand new clothes. I glanced down at my half eaten nails, comfy shoes and straight hair in a very practical ponytail.

I feel plain because I am plain. I do my best to avoid sloppiness. I iron my clothes for church, brush my hair before putting it in said ponytail and try to match my clothes. If it is a special occasion (like church) I apply lipstick, eye shadow and mascara.

I miss my manicured nails, curled hair and new clothes. I miss them most when I am in the big city mall with fancy store clerks staring me down, as if saying to themselves “when I have kids I will never let myself let go like that!”

So I asked my husband if he is disappointed that I am plain and not fancy. I was hoping he would say “you are fancy. You will always be fancy in my eyes baby doll!” First, whenever a girl hopes for words from her husband’s mouth they never come out (just like a watched pot never boils – so don’t do it!). Second, who calls their wife baby doll? So of course he didn’t say that. He said – “I didn’t fall in love with a fancy girl. I fell in love with a cute bouncy blonde girl that worked at a radio station.” Tears welling up, heart melting I just smiled.

Plain is wonderful, but plain I am not. Like he said, I am bouncy! I have way too much fun playing in life to worry about being impractically fancy. I am in jeans and a t-shirt with worn in tennis shoes because anything else would be seriously uncomfortable wearing a baby. The hair is in a ponytail so I can see my toddler as I chase her around the house and push her on the tree swing. My nails are not manicured because I need my hands to be able to get dirty as I play with playdough, clean out a garbage disposal, wash poopy butts and do countless loads of laundry.

Then I asked my wonderful husband what he would do if I suddenly turned higher maintenance – curling my highlighted hair, wearing fashionable clothes and polishing my fingers. He said, “that would be weird cause that isn’t you. And it would be so annoying! You’d always be asking my opinion on how you look and I would never say the right thing.” I’ll just make it easier on him and look great everyday as plain, bouncy, happy, Annie.

- Annie

Annie is a SAHM to a toddler girl and baby boy on 20 acres in Kansas.  She loves cloth diapers, baby wearing, easy to make dinners and hates washing dishes.  You can read about all her joys and sorrows of living with her husband, 3 goats, large dog and cat at www.mamadweeb.com

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Focusing on Quality Of Life, NOT Quantity In The New Year

Happy New Year everyone!

For most of us, it’s back to work and school today and the temps outside are frigid.  It’s awesome that some of us get to stay inside and stay warm.  My kids (Ella and my daycare kid, Eva) don’t start back to school till the end of the week, so we still have a few more days to relax and hang out before we get completely back in gear.

At this time of year, we tend to think of New Year’s Resolutions and what we think we can accomplish in the year to come.  I think most of us make the same ones year of after year: lose weight, stop smoking, get out of debt, etc…  And, those are great goals to have and I think they’re very attainable, if that ’s your thing.  This year when I thought about my resolutions/goals for myself, I decided that I’m focusing on “Quality of Life”, NOT “Quantity”.

We tend to spend our days cramming in as much as we possibly can from the time we get up to when we go to bed at night.  It causes high blood pressure, stress, insomnia and bad moods. It’s not good for us and it’s not good for our families.  Yes, we may think we’re doing a good thing for all those around us when we fix the perfect breakfast, get the kids to school, play groups, doctor’s appointments, lunch/play dates, do the dishes, the laundry, fix dinner, get the kids a bath and a story and then the kids to bed, more laundry and so and so on, all in one day.  We end up falling in bed late at night and not getting quality rest and wake up fatigued, stressed  and more tired than we were when we went to bed the night before. I’m guilty, I admit it and it’s not good for anyone – especially us!

So, my goal this year is to cut back on the “stuff” and spend more time on creating a more relaxed quality of life for myself and my family.  So maybe the dishes will sit in the sink for half the morning while I have a cup of coffee that isn’t cold, it’s OK.  Maybe we have cereal for breakfast one day instead of eggs, toast and fruit or pancakes.  The kids won’t care and may actually prefer it sometimes!  And, we must remember that life will go on if I have to do all the laundry in one day instead of breaking it up over the week. It’s all OK!

It’s OK to be a little selfish and take time for ourselves too.  Maybe head to Starbucks on a weekend afternoon while the kids are resting and hubby hangs out. (my fav thing to do!)   Maybe get a pedicure or manicure once a month or even just head to the library for a little quiet time with a good book or magazine.  Carving out a few minutes a week for ourselves will do a world of good for us all!  We end up calm, more patient and better moms.

So, I invite you to join me this year in focusing on your “Quality of Life” instead of “Quantity of Life”.  It may be a little hard in the beginning to calm down and let a few things go or to give up a few things, but I think it won’t be long before we’re saying NO a little more and saying YES to ourselves!

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Karissa

A very good friend of mine and a lot of other’s is gone today.  Karissa of Prissy Green passed away this week.  We are all saddened, lost and confused.

Karissa was my favorite Green Blogger and a wonderful help to me when starting out my blog and as a friend since we met.  We did “Make it Monday” posts each week where we would link up to each other’s “homemade” green posts.

Karissa had a love for her fur babies, music, her blog and her friends. She had just opened her own online store and her blog was growing by leaps and bounds.

We may never know what was going on with Karissa in her personal life and really…does it matter?  All we can know is that she is at peace now and that she will feel no more suffering.  She will truly be missed.

Please read about Karissa from her Guest Post on my blog in November and a very special “Last Post” on her blog from Trisha at Momdot.

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A Miracle

Today I had the amazing opportunity to witness a miracle happen and I am feeling quite grateful and humbled by the whole experience and wanted to share with you.

Those of you in the blogging world or who read my blog, may know of Jennifer McKinney (aka MckMama) and her baby Stellan.  Stellan has been struggling with SVT- Supraventricular Tachycardia, a rapid rhythm of the heart- since before birth.

Stellan, just  barely a year old, has had numerous hospitalizations and medications over the past year, but the stubborn SVT always returned and seemed worse each time.  It was clear when Stellan crashed so quickly with his last bout of SVT, that a special procedure called an Ablation would be needed as soon as possible.

Today, that surgery took place and was a complete success!!  The road to get there was very rocky and unstable at times, but the outcome was amazing and nothing short of a miracle!

IT’S A HOME RUN!!!!!!!Just call me “me of little faith,” I guess. I was floored, shocked, utterly speechless when Dr. A came in and put his hand on my shoulder and said that Stellan’s ablation was indeed the home run we had all only dared dream about.

Jennifer has Tweeted, Blogged and updated Facebook as her little guy’s story has unfolded.  It has had most of us captivated for a while now. I, for one, am grateful that she decided to share her story with us.  I just know that all the prayers, love and faith that has been sent her way has helped her and her family more than we’ll ever know.  I look forward to watching Stellan recover from his surgery and grow into a strong, healthy baby boy!

My prayers and thoughts go out to Jennifer, Stellan and their family…I know that they will be sleeping much better tonight.

I urge you to visit MckMama.com and read her story about her miracle baby, Stellan, and to also witness the thousands that have joined in prayer on her site.  It’s truly amazing to see!

UPDATE:  Stellan is still having a rough go after surgery and could still use all the prayers and kind thoughts you have to send their way.

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Thoughts To Live By

Sometimes I find some great information that I feel I just have to share – and this is one of those times!

It seems we’re all looking for “the answers” to life and how to live a better one.  I found this article on Oprah.com and thought you would all be interested in it.  Some great thoughts on how to live your best life!

1. What you put out comes back all the time, no matter what.

2. You define your own life. Don’t let other people write your script.

3. Whatever someone did to you in the past has no power over the present. Only you give it power.

4. When people show you who they are, believe them the first time. (A lesson from Maya Angelou.)

5. Worrying is wasted time. Use the same energy for doing something about whatever worries you.

6. What you believe has more power than what you dream or wish or hope for. You become what you believe.

7. If the only prayer you ever say is thank you, that will be enough. (From the German theologian and humanist Meister Eckhart.)

8. The happiness you feel is in direct proportion to the love you give.

9. Failure is a signpost to turn you in another direction.

10. If you make a choice that goes against what everyone else thinks, the world will not fall apart.

11. Trust your instincts. Intuition doesn’t lie.

12. Love yourself and then learn to extend that love to others in every encounter.

13. Let passion drive your profession.

14. Find a way to get paid for doing what you love. Then every paycheck will be a bonus.

15. Love doesn’t hurt. It feels really good.

16. Every day brings a chance to start over.

17. Being a mother is the hardest job on earth. Women everywhere must declare it so.

18. Doubt means don’t. Don’t move. Don’t answer. Don’t rush forward.

19. When you don’t know what to do, get still. The answer will come.

20. “Trouble don’t last always.” (A line from a Negro spiritual, which calls to mind another favorite: This, too, shall pass.)

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Living Life Without A Mom

I just can’t seem to get motivated today or this week for that matter.  You see, tomorrow- Halloween- marks the 8th Anniversary of my mom’s passing.  Well, I really hate to call it an anniversary.  I think of anniversaries as being something happy and joyous like a marriage or the amount of time since you quit smoking – not a death.  But, be that as it may…it’s still tomorrow and I’m not happy about it.

My mom was only 43  when she passed away quickly and unexpectedly from undetected pneumonia.  I was 23,  had a 18 year old sister in High School and a 5 year old brother in Kindergarten at the time as well.  She was sick for only 13 days with cold-like symptoms.  Woke up one morning and couldn’t hardly move, went to the hospital around noon and died at 9:52pm that night.  Didn’t even see it coming.  She just stopped breathing. The pneumonia wasn’t even detected until AFTER she died.  Horrible.  Just horrible.

I lived 8 hours from home at the time and was working on moving back with my boyfriend – who is now my husband, Brian.  Thank goodness I  had a flight scheduled that next day to go home to surprise mom and bring her home from the hospital and help out for the weekend.  Little did I know I would be spending the flight home numb and in shock.

The days that followed were a blur.  It was so horrible and  I truly believe I blocked out the next year.  I actually celebrated my brothers birthday with him being a year younger than he was for the next 5 years.  He didn’t have the heart to tell me that he was actually a year older each time he came to visit and we’d buy a cake and stick one less candle on it then he deserved.  You can imagine how horrible I felt for this.  I can honestly say, that losing my mom was the hardest and most difficult thing I’ve ever gone through in my life.  I can only imagine that losing a child or my husband would be harder.  Something I pray I will never find out about.

It’s hitting me harder this year.  Harder than it has in a long time.  I think that in recent years past, I’ve always had something going on.  I was pregnant, had a new baby, a new job or was moving into a new home.  Always something to distract me.  But, this year – it’s just me and my family living our life.

It’s a good life and I think that is why it is upsetting me so much.  I miss my mom and want her to be here with me – to spend time with us and enjoy the kids.  I’m selfish.  I want her here to help me be a good mom like she was to me and my sister and brother.  I want her advice on getting the kids to sleep or what to eat.  I want her to listen to me complain about how tired I am and how I need a break sometimes, only for her to remind me how she did it for years and understands.  I want to ask her about her pregnancies and births, if  why my children do certain things because I did them that way as a child.  It’s not fair.  It’s not fair for any mother to not have her mother here to help her raise her children and be a grandmother to them.

I know that my mom would be a very hands on, involved in our daily life, kind of grandparent.  There is no doubt in my mind!  My mom was the very best mother and my very best friend.  I know that she is here with us daily in spirit, but I miss her here in life. Most days I catch a glimpse of her….a Neil Diamond song comes on at the perfect time that I need her, I come across a sentimental trinket that I didn’t remember I had or I see someone in the store for just one brief second that looks exactly like her – and I know she’s right here.

Just this week…I had this idea to look up Smother’s Brothers wine to see if they still made it.  My mom was a HUGE Smother’s Brothers fan and met them many times in her life.  She had one of their earlier bottles of wine that they had signed and I have it now.  It’s unopened and will remain that way.  But, I thought it would be nice to have a glass this year on the day she passed away.

So, I consulted Google – and found the only vineyard that carried it and gave them a call.  I was pleased and surprised to hear that they did and could send it to me!  As the  gentleman went through the years they had in stock – he came to 2001, the year my mom passed away.  He proceeded to tell me that this was the “best year the wine was ever made”.  It was a very pure and complete wine.  There was no mixing of grapes that year -  only pure Cabernet grapes.  “This was also the last year it was ever made”, he told me.  My body had chills and my eyes welled up with tears.  How ironic is it that the very best and last year this wine was ever made was also the last year my mom was here on earth?!   Needless to say…I have 3 bottles of the finest Smother’s Brothers wine on it’s way to my house.

I know that some years when this day comes around it will be harder than others, but I am so grateful I have my family to be here with me and make new happy memories for Halloween.  This year, we’re having chili and pumpkin carving with some of my husband’s family and my sister.  We’re also going Trick or Treating later in the evening.  I know we’ll have fun.  My children bring such joy to my life, it’s hard to not have a good time.

So, this year, I’ll raise a glass to my mom and we’ll talk about all the fun times and great memories we have and I’ll probably shed a few tears. I will be thinking a lot about my mom and hating that she’s not here to enjoy the day with us but I will know she’s watching and enjoying it from above.

She’s so missed….

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Being A Mom IS The Hardest Job

Being a mom is undoubtedly the hardest, most stressful job that there is.  It’s long hours, mostly without breaks and the only pay involved is the priceless unconditional love we receive daily.   We work hard to provide for our family, but  we don’t always feel like we’re doing our best.  Why?  We are loving, caring, funny, witty (OK…maybe not always funny and witty, but definitely loving and caring) and we give from our hearts – ALWAYS.

We are too hard on ourselves to be perfect.  To have a perfectly clean house,  perfectly dressed children,  perfectly cooked meals – all goals we strive to achieve, but feel like we’ve failed if we don’t keep this up on a daily basis.  Do our children care if the dishes are done from lunch before dinner is cooked?  NO. Do our neighbors know that we didn’t have time to wash our child’s hair before bed and that’s the reason it’s in a pony tail?  NO.  So why are we so hard on ourselves when it’s all not perfect and complete?

It’s time to step back and enjoy our children while they are young and while they still think we’re the greatest thing on earth (and funny and witty).  Take time to just sit with your kids and just be – no phones, no Internet, no TV.  Be still and actually listen to their little funny stories – no matter if they sound like jibber jabber or complete sentences.  Give your child your undivided attention today.  Read them stories for twenty minutes, a half hour or even an hour if they want.  Let the dishes pile up.  Hopefully, someone will take care of them for you – or not – and you can catch up with them once the kids are sleeping.  Enjoy your time together as they are only young once and one day you’ll wonder where all those special moments have gone – you’ll wonder why you didn’t enjoy them more when you had them around all the time.

On the days you feel like giving up or like you’re not making a difference or that it’s all overwhelming – stop what you’re doing, sit back and just watch your children.  Sit still and listen to their laughter and giggles as they dance a silly dance or chase the dog around the yard or pull yet another pot out of the cabinet and bang it repeatedly on the floor and smile while doing it.  I promise you’ll find that little feeling that tells you that it is all worth it.   That feeling that confirms that being a mom IS the hardest job in the world – but it is the most rewarding and best darn job you’ll ever have!

* Will you take my advice?  If so, share with me how you spent time with your children today.  How did you enjoy your time together and how did it feel?  Is this something you already do or do you need a little work on it.  I know I do.  I’m looking forward to hearing all about it!

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